Curses

Track #7 of Together with Wendi

This song is tongue-in-cheek; the chorus declares that “…that’s not the way I feel,” but the curses in the verses are pretty dark, making it seem like I want terrible things to happen to my lover! When you get to the last verse, that’s when it clearly becomes a love song.

May a ten-ton Stegosaurus
Lay an egg upon your doorstep
And may snakes cling to your cereal bowl
At breakfast tomorrow morning
May a great tornado touch down
And blow your house to pieces
And scatter those pieces so far and wide
That they’ll never be seen again

But that’s not the way I feel
’Cause you know my love is real
And I’d never want anything to happen to you
Like these curses I’m describing to you

May the IRS compel you
To pay your uncle’s taxes
And may soap scum form in your shower stall
While you’re gone somewhere on vacation
May a bird do its thing upon you
On your way to church next Sunday
’Cause your car won’t start and you have no ride
And you’re walking on crutches besides

But that’s not the way I feel
’Cause you know my love is real
And I’d never want anything to happen to you
Like these curses I’m describing to you

(key change)

I’d never call these curses on you
I wouldn’t want a thing to harm you
So don’t let this song intimidate you
No! These words should not alarm you
If the worst should happen to you
Honey, I’d be right there beside you
And I’ll share those troubles the whole way through
Just to prove my love for you

’Cause that’s just the way I feel
And you know my love is real
And I’d never want anything to happen to you
Like these curses I have just described to you